Before I attended the first day of classes at San Francisco State University - before I even attended freshmen orientation - I had an image in my head of the people whom I expected to meet. This image was built up over time as I overheard my sister's complaints of various types of people which she had met at SFSU. I had expected to meet poseurs, fanatics - all sorts of eccentrics and intolerable people.
Here, I blame my sister for my pessimism, but in actuality, I had thought this way even before I heard her rants. I had always expected to see terrible people whenever I went somewhere new. I hadn't always been this way though; I believe high school ignited this pessimism. Though, I expect terrible people not simply for the sake of pessimism. I expected to meet terrible people so that if I were ever to wonder about making friends, I could tell myself that I made little to no new friends because the people I met were the absolute worst kinds of people.
To my expectancy I did meet some of those kinds of people, but surprisingly to me, they were few and far between.
This pessimism, I believe, traces back to my fears, which I will not explicitly name here, for you or anyone. That is all I have to say on the matter.
What I take from this pessimism is that I delude myself in an effort to save me from myself. I seek a hermit's shelter.
I expect no sympathies from whomever may read this. I also want no sympathies. Do not make this a pity party. Just critique the words and how they fit together.
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